Teaching Children That Prayer is Real Communication

First article in the “Power of Prayer in Family Life” series

Oft Repeated Prayers

It’s bedtime and your child rattles off the same phrases you’ve heard for months: ‘Heavenly Father, thank you for this day; thank you for our home, food and clothes; please help us sleep well, and have a good day tomorrow. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.’ She bounces up and snuggles into bed, and you wonder–does she understand why who she’s talking to?

How can we teach our children to really connect with the divine? I believe it’s the most important life skill we can develop to guide our lives!

Principle: Prayer is Real Communication with Our Heavenly Father

Scripture Connection: “But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions…” –Matthew 6: 7

Gospel Principles Manual Connection: Chapter 8 teaches us that prayer is our way of communicating with Heavenly Father, expressing gratitude, asking for blessings, and seeking guidance.

The Heart of the Matter: Prayer isn’t a performance or a checklist—it’s a conversation with someone who loves us perfectly and wants to help us. Don’t we all need that so desperately!?

Problem: When Prayer Becomes Routine Instead of Relationship

Children (and adults) can fall into prayer patterns that lack heart
Kids may see prayer as obligation rather than opportunity
Families struggle to help children understand God’s love and presence
Different ages need different approaches to develop genuine communication with God

Practice: Age-Specific Applications

Young Children (Ages 2-8): Making God Feel Real and Present

1. Use Simple, Concrete Language

Instead of: “Help me be good”
Try: “Help me share my toys with my brother” or “Help me use kind words when I’m frustrated”
Why it works: Specific prayers help children see specific answers

2. Encourage Conversational Prayer

Ask: “What do you want to tell Heavenly Father about your day?”
Let them pray in their own words, even if it’s not “proper”
Example: “Heavenly Father, I had fun at the park today and I was scared when the dog barked but then it was nice”

3. Help Them Recognize Answers

Point out when prayers are answered: “Remember when you prayed for help finding your toy? You found it!”
Teach them that feelings of peace, comfort, or good ideas can be answers
Practical tip: Keep a simple family prayer journal or drawing book

4. Model Honest Communication

Let them hear you pray conversationally: “Heavenly Father, I’m worried about grandma’s health…”
Show them it’s okay to express real feelings to God
Remember: They learn more from watching than from instruction

Teens (Ages 9-18): Developing Personal Relationship

1. Respect Their Growing Independence

Ask before family prayer: “What would you like to pray about, or who would you like to pray for?”
Encourage private prayer time separate from family prayer
Key principle: Support their personal relationship with God rather than managing it

2. Address Real Teenage Concerns

Help them pray about friendships, school stress, future decisions
Validate that it’s okay to pray about things that matter to them (even if they seem small to adults)
Example conversation: “I know you’re worried about the test tomorrow. Have you talked to Heavenly Father about it?”

3. Teach About Different Types of Prayer

Gratitude prayers when things go well
Pleading prayers when they need help
Listening prayers when they need guidance
Practice: Share your own experiences with your family applying different types of prayer

4. Help Them Recognize Personal Revelation

Discuss how God speaks to them personally (feelings, thoughts, impressions)
Share how you’ve received answers to prayers
Important: Acknowledge that answers don’t always come immediately or as expected

Adult Children (18+): Supporting Their Spiritual Journey

1. Respect Their Agency in Prayer Practices

Don’t comment on how they pray (or if they pray) during family gatherings
Focus on your own relationship with God rather than managing theirs
Principle: Model faith without preaching

2. Share Experiences, Not Expectations

Instead of: “You should pray about that decision”
Try: “I’ve been praying about your situation” or “When I faced something similar, prayer helped me…”
Why: Invitation feels different than obligation

3. Include Them in Family Prayer Appropriately

Ask if they’d like to pray rather than assuming
Respect their comfort level with prayer in group settings
Remember: Their relationship with God is between them and God

4. Continue Your Own Faithful Example

Let them see your dependence on prayer
Share (when appropriate) how prayer guides your parenting decisions
Impact: Consistent faith often speaks louder than words

Peace: The Promised Blessings

When we help our children develop real communication with God through prayer:

Children feel God’s love personally – They develop their own testimony of His care
Families grow closer – Shared spiritual experiences create bonds
Parenting becomes more inspired – You receive guidance for each child’s needs
Children learn to seek divine help – They develop lifelong patterns of turning to God
Homes become more peaceful – Prayer invites the Spirit into daily life

Promise from the Gospel Principles manual: “Those who pray unto the Lord will not be led away by the temptations of Satan” (Gospel Principles, Chapter 8)

Personal Story: Child-like Faith

Prayer has shaped many meaningful moments throughout my life, but I’m continually amazed by the simple, profound faith children bring to their prayers. Take, for instance, when a child prays for something as ordinary as a lost item.

My daughter Anna was running late one morning, frantically searching for her favorite jacket. She checked her closet multiple times with no success. Without any prompting from me, she decided to pray about it. Afterward, she felt impressed to look in her closet one more time—and there it was, right where she’d looked before. When she shared her experience with us later, I could see the wonder and strengthened faith shining in her eyes. I felt so proud watching her instinctively turn to God for help.

A similar experience happened with my son Evan when he couldn’t find his shoe. We were rushing to get out the door, searching everywhere, when I suggested we pray together. There’s something vulnerable about praying with your child watching, wondering if this act of faith will bear fruit. After our prayer, I felt prompted to look more carefully behind the couch—and discovered his shoe wrapped up in a blanket.

Of course, prayers don’t always receive immediate, tangible answers. But that doesn’t diminish their value. Even when the response isn’t what we hoped for or expected, these moments become opportunities for meaningful conversations about faith, patience, and trust. Sometimes the real answer lies not in finding the lost item, but in the growth that comes from reaching out in faith.

Practical Implementation This Week

For Families with Young Children:

Try one “conversation prayer” where you ask what they want to tell God
Point out one answered prayer this week
Use specific, concrete prayer language

For Families with Teens:

Ask your teen what they’d like family prayers to include
Share one way prayer has helped you recently
Respect their privacy about personal prayers

For Families with Adult Children:

Focus on your own prayer relationship rather than theirs
Share (appropriately) how prayer guides your parenting
Continue faithful example without pressure

Discussion Questions for Readers

How do you help your children understand that prayer is real communication, not just routine?
What has helped your family move beyond repetitive prayers to meaningful conversations with God?
How do you balance teaching prayer practices with respecting your children’s developing personal relationship with Heavenly Father?

Coming Next Week

“Beyond ‘Bless the Food’ – Making Family Prayer Meaningful”

Scripture to Ponder: “Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers” (D&C 112:10)

Challenge: This week, pay attention to how your family prays. Look for one opportunity to help prayer feel more like real communication and less like routine.